[ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: wow, thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. welcome to the show. [ cheers ] thank you so much. hey, the heat is -- i'm sorry, everybody. >> audience member: love you! woo! >> jimmy: the heat -- the heat is just brutal out there. it was over 100 degrees here in new york city today. it was so hot out there, al roker walked two blocks and won a wet t-shirt contest. [ laughter ] >> steve: i'll take it. >> jimmy: have you guys seen this? in a new interview, president obama has said he wants a debt ceiling deal for his 50th birthday. then he was like, "but if i can't have that, ipad." [ laughter ] here's some business news, bank of america announced that it lost $9 billion in the second quarter.

that's not good. in fact, when i put my card in the atm, it said, "do you mind if i borrow this for a while?" [ laughter ] "no." "are you sure?" "yes." wait. you guys, today was the release of "captain america"! [ cheers ] going to be good. that's the story of a man with an indestructible shield. in the movie, he faces his mortal enemy, anyone who just takes away the shield. [ laughter ] "she's choking, choking." [ laughter ] he's an amazing ducker. [ laughter ] "i'll stop that crime! what do you think of that?" listen to this. the u.s. postal service will start offering online previews

of the stamps in its 2012 collections. yeah. [ cheers ] that's right. stamps previews. finally answering the question, "what's more boring than stamps?" [ laughter ] stamp previews. want to come over have a couple brewskies? gonna look at some stamp previews. [ laughter ] >> steve: 2012? >> jimmy: 2012. >> steve: you got it, baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know i'm there, man. >> steve: i got a few cases in my car. >> jimmy: check out this one. it's s some old locomotives. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, it's captain america without his shield. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know that's when he's most vulnerable! [ laughter ] i hate it when captain america's vulnerable! [ laughter ] what are we going to do? >> steve: turn down "swamp people." i've got to hear it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: turn down the "swamp people." what!

i listen to this audio and stamp previews. >> steve: well, they're watching the stamp previews. >> jimmy: turn down "swamp people." i've got to listen -- pay attention. >> steve: the kids are watching it in the rec room, really loud. >> jimmy: kids love that show, man. >> steve: yeah, they love that. >> jimmy: hey, check this out. check this out, you guys. a new study found that your personality can trigger weight gain. yeah, especially if you have the personality of a big fat guy. [ laughter ] "we were on 'swamp people.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: "you kids going to finish those fish sticks?" [ laughter ] >> taking the kids' food, the kids in the rec room? >> steve: he's some fat guy. >> "you kids done with your nuggies?" [ laughter ] >> steve: "come on, give me a plate, i'll scrape them off here." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he has like a newspaper -- like a messenger bag full of snakes. fish sticks and chicken nuggets. >> steve: "breakfast of champions. and lunch and dinner. that too."

>> jimmy: did anyone see this? a new study found that men from countries with slow economies generally have larger penises. [ cheers ] which explains that new pickup line, "hi, i'm an american." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this week, a woman in new jersey gave birth in the bathroom of an mcdonald's. [ cheers ] yup, the baby weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces. but by the time it left mcdonald's, it was 14 pounds, 8 ounces. [ laughter ] ladies and gentleman we have a great show tonight. give it for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a big night. big, big, big, fun show tonight. the unforgettable hbo series,

"entourage" is about to begin its eighth and final season. [ cheers ] one of our pals, kevin connolly is here to tell us all about that. [ cheers and applause ] i love kevin connolly. >> steve: good dude. >> jimmy: kevin connolly is a great dude. we're also going to play a fun new game. it's pretty cool. also, from the new movie "another earth" -- it'll be an interesting movie. [ cheers ] yeah. [ cheers ] brit marling is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] brit marling, very talented writer, actor. plus, one of my favorite stand-ups from london, england, matt kirshen is here! [ cheers ] that's a funny, funny dude. is he from london? i didn't know he was london. i though he was from england. hey, today's friday. and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. i check my in-box. i return some e-mails. i go to see "captain america." catch up on my tivoed "swamp people." [ light laughter ] >> steve: exactly. >> jimmy: and, of course, send out some thank you notes. [ cheers ] do you mind? can i write some out, right now. can i do some right now?

do you mind? [ cheers ] thank you so much. >> audience member: i love you! >> jimmy: i love you, too. [ cheers ] speaking of love, poyser, can i get some thank you note music, please? ♪ [ light laughter ] >> steve: the profile. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just going profile, all profile. >> steve: yeah, the profile the whole time. he doesn't even need to look at the keys. [ laughter ] his eyes are closed. his eyes are closed. >> jimmy: all profile. >> steve: yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, generic female profile picture on facebook. for making it look like i'm friends with a skinny darth vader. [ laughter ]

"luke, i'm on atkins." [ laughter ] >> steve: "i like." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, guy in the stall next to me, whose urine stream is way too strong. [ laughter ] have you been holding it in for three days? or are you just emptying an entire gatorade squirt bottle into the toilet. everything all right? [ scattered applause ] thank you. [ applause ] >> steve: "good job, captain!" [ laughter ] "thanks, bucky." >> jimmy: do it, again, do it again. >> steve: all right. "good job, captain!" "thanks, bucky." [ laughter and applause ] bucky. >> jimmy: bucky is his sidekick.

>> jimmy: it's his sidekick. >> steve: yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, pickles, for being like hot dogs that got really angry and turned into the hulk. [ laughter and applause ] "you won't like me when i'm angry." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: "actually, you're pretty tasty." >> steve: "you're tasty." >> jimmy: "oh, you're crunchy." ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, stopwatches for also being 50% start watches. [ laughter and applause ] start watches. ♪ thank you, people who say, "you know who you look like?" for basically saying, "hey, you know which celebrity you're a 40% less attractive version of?" [ laughter ]

♪ thank you, pamphlets for being smaller versions of pamps. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, libraries, for being a place to store all of the old people we're not using anymore. [ laughter and applause ] james wrote that. [ laughter ] >> "soylent green." ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, super humid heat wave, for making every girl in our office look like phil spector. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with more "late night!"

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, be afraid. be very afraid. because it's time once again to play "darts of insanity"! ♪ darts of insanity [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. this is "darts of insanity," a game of skill, strategy, and what some would consider moral depravity. >> whoa! [ whip crack ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: higgins, let's get three contestants down here. >> steve: well, jimmy, coming to the stage are stephanie freedman, andy japlin, and darren wright. get down here and dart it off. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for being here. what is your name and where are you from? >> i'm stephanie, from atlanta,

georgia. >> jimmy: very good. >> andy, from westbury, new york. >> jimmy: that's all right andy. make up a fake name. that's fine. [ laughter ] >> darren, from houston, texas. >> jimmy: darren from houston, texas. [ scattered applause ] there you go. welcome you guys. appreciate it. now, listen up. here's how this game works. to your right on the sharp 108 is the dreaded dartboard of insanity. >> ah, hell no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, one at a time, you'll take this official buzz bee ultimate rapid blast air blaster and shoot a rubber dart at the board. the board will quickly flash between various stunts you may be subjected to. each of which carries a specific point value. for instance we have "pickle tickle" for three points. "hog tied and lovin' it" for six points. and the dreaded "stank hose" for 12 points. that's where you get whipped across the face with a very, very smelly garden hose. whatever your dart lands on that's what you'll have to do. whoever has the most points at the end of one round wins the game and a check for $100. [ cheers ] you guys ready? all right. contestant number one, you're up

first. here we go. stand behind the firing line. initiate the dartboard of insanity. here's your gun. fire when ready. [ ding ] "yuck uggs." for five points, "yuck uggs." higgins, tell her what she's got to do. ♪ >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's lucky contestant gets to try on a brand new pair of uggs, filled with chocolate and tapioca pudding. [ cheers ] yum, and that's not all. once they're on you'll have to dance for ten second while the roots play the "yuck uggs" theme song and then, and only then, you'll get to walk away, with five points that is, jimmy! >> jimmy: thank you, higgins. higgins, have you ever worn uggs? >> steve: i'm more of a tennis shoe kind of guy, you know? but, i have to say my favorite kind of shoes -- >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] so, basically, you just have to put these uggs on. okay, they are filled with chocolate and tapioca pudding.

well, one spilled out. [ laughter ] the other we were out of vanilla, i'm sorry. then you will have to dance in place while the roots play the "yuck uggs" theme song. does that sound good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: perfect. okay, take off your shoes and get on in there. quest, can we get a drum roll please? [ drum roll ] audience, let's cheer her on. [ cheers ] ♪ go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you. you've got five points. i'll help you over here. i don't want you slipping. just walk over that way. be careful. very, very good. all right. hard to walk in those yuck uggs. here we go, buddy. how you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: how you feeling?

>> lucky. >> jimmy: feeling lucky? very good. [ light laughter ] now, you know what you got to do here. you got to hit the board and land on something worth more than five points. okay, it's very hard. but, you can do it if you pay attention. are you ready? >> ready. >> jimmy: initiate the dartboard of insanity. fire when ready. [ ding ] "grab the balls in your nut sack!" ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: are you all right? higgins, please tell him what he's got to do. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> steve: well jimmy, tonight's contestant will have to grab this big sack of nuts. and while blindfolded, guess how many blue balls are in it. you have 15 seconds to cup it, squeeze it, poke it, or stroke it. whatever you're into, man. if you guess right, guess what? you get 10 points. jimmy?! >> jimmy: very good, okay. so, we don't know how many blue balls are in this nut sack.

[ laughter ] as you can see here, the large, dangling nut sack is filled with circus peanuts. [ laughter ] but, this nut sack also has balls in it. your job is to determine how many blue balls are in the nut sack. there could be -- there could be one, two, there could be three or four balls in there. i've heard of stuff like that before. you'll have 15 seconds to feel it, grab it, and move stuff around. you can only use one hand and you must do it for the entire 15 seconds. [ laughter ] >> i think i've got it. >> jimmy: okay, very good. please put on your blindfold here. very, very good. no peeking at that nut sack. [ light laughter ] 15 seconds on the clock, please! >> jimmy: audience help him out. ready, set, "grab the balls in your nut sack." one hand, one hand! ♪

all right, very good. [ laughter ] you really know how to handle a nut sack. [ laughter ] how many balls are in that nut sack? >> i think i felt two. [ ding ] that is correct. two balls. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very, very good. all right, buster. it's up to you. you need a high score here. you think you can do it? >> i'll try it. >> jimmy: that's the confidence i'm looking for. [ laughter ] initiate the board of insanity. fire when ready, my man. [ ding ] "dude spoon"! [ cheers ] ♪ 15 points!

this could be the win. higgins, tell him what he's got to do. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestant gets to spend some quality time in bed wrapped in the tender loving arms of sebastian. [ cheers and applause ] he's sensitive, 85% disease-free, and only got one thing on his mind, spooning the hell out of you for 20 seconds. it's the "dude spoon." it's worth 15 points. jimmy? >> jimmy: thanks, higgins. all right. thank you higgins. al right, this is it. you could be tonight's big winner. all you have to do is let sebastian here spoon you for 20 seconds. you ready for the challenge? [ laughter ] sebastian -- sebastian, are you ready? >> i'm ready. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what is that? is that a fan? >> sometimes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. all right. go jump in bed with sebastian there -- >> hi, buddy. >> jimmy: -- and assume the

position. it's all good. he's all right. just let him -- just let him have his way and get it over with. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] 20 seconds on the clock. lights down, please. lights down, let's do this! ♪ almost done. almost done. 14 seconds. 10 seconds. 10 seconds. 5 seconds. 3, 2 -- [ ding ] all right, tell him how did he did? congratulations, you're the winner! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you won a check for $100 right there. congratulations. thank you, sebastian, too. guys, come on over here, you guys. come on over. sorry, you guys did not win but you were good sports, you will all each be getting $100 as well. [ applause ] and everyone will be taking home these official "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts. thanks, everyone for playing. [ cheers ]

congratulations. we'll be right back with kevin connolly! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ survival's all about keeping your cool. so who will be the last man standing? cubby, add the wolverines! [ growling ] new everest from degree has a fresh scent and twice the sweat-blocking power. still looks cool and dry! new everest from degree.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is one of the stars of "entourage" which begins its eight and final season this sunday night at 10:30 on hbo. put it together for our pal, kevin connolly everyone! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you been, my man? >> i don't know. this is a big surprise. >> jimmy: big surprise. >> this jacket is a big surprise, he called me up about it that way. >> jimmy: yeah, do you remember thais jacket? >> of course i remember the jacket. i remember that jacket, i did. that was -- oh, my god. that's the last thing in the world i expected you to be wearing. >> jimmy: i bought this

jacket -- i was out in l.a., i bought this jacket. and i wore it out, stupidly, to meet kevin out for a beverage or something. and we went out and you made fun of me for like a straight half hour. >> i could not even look at you. >> jimmy: you said, "what are you a lumberjack?" then you called me -- it was the "lars and the real girl" jacket. >> yes. you were ryan gosling from "lars and the real girl." >> jimmy: but, then we gave it to everyone and made everyone wear the jacket. >> you were walking around making random people wear the jacket. >> and is it the same jacket? >> jimmy: it's the exact one. yeah. i have never worn it since. [ laughter ] i could never wear it. >> i felt bad about it. >> jimmy: it's not that bad. >> it looks good on camera. >> jimmy: it is bad. i've got to say. the audience did not react. it is pretty bad. >> by the way, i have to say that last segment was amazing. >> jimmy: zob? sebastian? >> "the dude spoon." >> jimmy: "the dude spoon"? i mean, yeah. that guy is a good sport. give it up for that guy. [ applause ] we love having you here. you were here exactly a year ago. >> one year ago, today. >> jimmy: isn't that crazy?

we were talking about, you bought, or you invested in a restaurant, near saratoga. >> great spot, ciro's. you love ciro's. >> jimmy: ciro's is one of my favorite restaurants. >> it opens again, tonight. funny, i should be here promoting "entourage." but instead i'm promoting ciro's. >> jimmy: it's a great -- it's right by the saratoga racetrack. >> right. right, literally in the parking lot. >> jimmy: why is it only open 90 days? >> i know. well, it's a permit thing. but they opened a new one today called ciro's at the lodge and it's open all year round. now. >> jimmy: what's that mean? >> it means it's open more than six weeks. normally, you complain -- >> jimmy: maybe that takes away the specialness of ciro's. >> well, it's a different place. it's -- >> jimmy: different type of vibe? >> it's a different kind of thing. >> jimmy: because ciro's is great. it's only open 90 days for some reason. i don't understand permits, but that makes no sense to me. >> did they name the drink after you? did they name the drink -- did that ever happen? >> jimmy: that's a great question. you promised me the drink, and i called up today to ask them if they named the drink -- >> i couldn't get it done. i couldn't get it done. i didn't have the juice to get it done. they wouldn't go for it. >> jimmy: you are an owner of the restaurant! [ laughter ] >> i know, i know, i know. >> jimmy: you can get this done. why can't you get a drink named after me? >> i worked on it, but i found your name on the wall and signed my name next to your name. not that you care about that. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: who cares about that? [ laughter ] i want a drink named after me.

>> we will definitely get the drink named after you. >> jimmy: i like gin and tonic. so, maybe the jimmy and tonic? >> jimmy and tonic. jim and tonic. >> jimmy: the jim and tonic. >> jim and tonic, yeah. >> jimmy: not so hard. >> i can do that. >> jimmy: you cannot do it. [ laughter ] hey, we've got to talk about "entourage." your final season, dude. are you sad? >> i am sad. >> jimmy: i'm sad, too. everyone's sad. this sunday -- but, it's a funny show. it's usually happy, but still. >> well, i mean, no. you know, it's been eight years and it's over. >> jimmy: wild. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was kind of -- but the thing i liked about the show, too, in a weird way, your life kind of became like the show. because you guys were all east coast guys going out to hollywood to make it. you were kind of unknown a little bit when you were first started the show and now super famous and buying restaurants and all that. >> buying restaurants where i have absolutely no juice to get anything accomplished. the jim and tonic, it's locked. >> jimmy: oh, come on. i'm not -- it's fine. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> no, yeah. no, it's sunday and it's eight episodes. but, you know -- hopefully, the plan is maybe do a movie. >> jimmy: you directed the seventh episode. >> i directed the second -- >> jimmy: so, the second to last -- if you watch any of the "entourages," watch the seventh episode of this season. kevin directed it.

>> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, you directed it. >> i did, i love it. and it's a really good episode. so now, i want to throw my hat in the ring to direct the movie. >> jimmy: you should direct the movie. >> right. >> jimmy: this is stupid that you don't direct the movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because you know everything about it, in and out. you should. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you're a great director. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you guys, spread the word, kevin connolly is directing "entourage," the movie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ congratulations. >> thank you very much. thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations, then you have to come here and pitch it. yeah. it'll be like "sex & the city" made a movie. that made a ton of money. >> yeah, exactly. "entourage" could become a franchise, so hopefully, yeah. that's the plan. >> jimmy: and there'd be a lot of fun cameos in the movie. >> it's been sad but, you know, the idea is we'll make the movie. so, it's only, you know. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a good thing. >> sad to be out of a job like that. >> jimmy: well, this sunday it comes back on, "entourage." people miss it. it's a good summer show. last time you came on -- >> i can't believe you're wearing that jacket. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: especially, it's really hot. it's like a heat wave. >> 89 degrees outside. >> well, i though you'd be nice enough, if i take it off and you put it on. you wear it. last time you were on the show, we had a random shootout. >> i know. >> jimmy: it was great. >> it was. it was a year ago, today.

>> jimmy: it was really fun. >> i mean i just -- >> jimmy: it was fun. >> it was cool. i should have -- i felt like i should have won that game, you know. i don't know. it hasn't sat very well with me. i want a rematch, basically. i would like a rematch. >> jimmy: we have a new game. i want to challenge you to. i think you're going to like it. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. when we come back, kevin connolly and i are playing a new game, called "box hockey." you're going to dig it. stick around. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ also get a free flight. you know that comes with a private island. really? no. it comes with a hat. you see, airline credit cards promise flights for 25,000 miles, but... [ man ] there's never any seats for 25,000 miles. frustrating, isn't it? but that won't happen with the capital one venture card. you can book any airline anytime. hey, i just said that. after all, isn't traveling hard enough? ow. [ male announcer ] to get the flights you want, sign up for a venture card at capitalone.com. what's in your wallet? uh, it's okay. i've played a pilot before. [ child's voice ] can i have some?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody, we're back with kevin connolly, whose long-running hit show "entourage" begins its final season this sunday night at 10:30 on hbo. we're trying a new game here. it's called "box hockey." and it's pretty simple. it's hockey in a box. the first to score two goals wins. i've got rangers gloves, you've got islanders gloves. puck goes in the middle. we tap sticks three times to start. and then the first one to two wins the game. >> do we do like down tap? like that? >> jimmy: yes. yeah, yeah, i'll tap. >> it's not just tap, tap, tap. >> jimmy: one tap, two tap, three. all right, here we go. ready? good luck. >> good luck. ♪

[ cheers ] >> jimmy: you don't have to put it there. easy win for me. [ cheers ] [ sad tuba ] you okay? let's do it again. ready? ♪ tap. 1, 2, 3 again. oh! [ cheers ] ♪ let's go. 1-0. the first of two wins.

that's one. gosh, man, oh, man. here we go. ♪ get off the wall! [ light laughter ] ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'm exhausted. the champ right here, kevin connolly, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] this sunday, check him out at 10:30. brit marling joins us next. come on back.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can't quite tell what that was 'cause that's a tiny hockey puck. could we just show that one more time really quick? watch this! [ laughter ] my god, it was two feet away from you! you guys, our next guest is a

talented actress who not only stars in, but co-wrote and co-produced the new film "another earth," which opened in select theaters today. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome brit marling! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: brit, is it short for britney or something? >> straight up, brit. >> jimmy: it's just brit. >> it's norwegian. yeah. i was named after my great-grandmother. >> jimmy: oh, no way? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you ever heard of a comedian named yogi yorgesson? >> no. who's he named after? >> jimmy: yogi bear. [ laughter ] i don't know. he's a very funny norwegian comedian. >> is he? >> jimmy: you can ask your family when you go back. >> i can google that. >> jimmy: yeah, you can google it. "another earth." i gotta say, this movie was phenomenal. >> you liked it? >> jimmy: i loved it. it was weird, it was very deep -- it's weird. and i tell you why. it's a drama, so it's very kind of moving, right? but then it's sci-fi.

>> totally. >> jimmy: with another planet floating in the sky. >> and it's a thriller, too. >> jimmy: a thriller, too. i got scared a couple times as well. [ light laughter ] can you explain the movie at all? you're probably better. >> it's the story -- okay, there is a night of the discovery of another earth. a duplicate universe, where everybody here is also there. this girl causes a car accident and her life becomes irrevocably bound with the man whose family she killed. that's the short of it. >> jimmy: pretty good. yeah, yeah, yeah. staring at another earth and you get into a car accident. >> and things get really crazy from then. >> jimmy: on this other planet, supposedly, mirror images of the same humans that are down here. >> like we are having this conversation and kevin is sitting there drinking coffee -- >> kevin: and sweating. >> sweating but up there. >> jimmy: but that's not true, though, right? 'cause maybe your life could be different, though? >> maybe. but i can't reveal that now. you have to watch the movie. >> jimmy: i did watch it. >> you'll have to watch it again. >> jimmy: well -- [ laughter ]

i don't want to ruin the ending or anything by telling anybody, you know what i'm saying, i think things are maybe different up there. >> maybe. they might be different. we can't say that yet here in this context. >> jimmy: in this earth. >> we can't say that. >> jimmy: you're a real deep. [ laughter ] fantastic. so, this earth isn't like the other earth. i love it. i thought it was a great movie. gosh, you're a great actress, as well. a great actor. you wrote the movie as well? >> i co-wrote it with mike cahill, the director. >> jimmy: mike cahill, who did a great job directing. beautiful direction, good score, too, by the way. >> fall on your sword. they're amazing. >> jimmy: great, great, kind of eerie, great music. the directing's great, but your acting is phenomenal. congratulations. i'm happy for your success. i know it was a really indy indy. >> so small. >> jimmy: i mean, how did you get the budget? how did you do it? you put the fake planet in the sky? >> there really was no budget at first. we started shooting at mike's mom's house in connecticut. 'cause we could live there for free.

>> jimmy: which is mike's mom's house? >> rhoda's house. >> jimmy: what a good name. i love the name rhoda. >> it's kind of random, right? we totally made that up. >> jimmy: mary tyler moore's friend. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] there's a sitcom called "rhoda." >> we meant that actually. >> jimmy: you did not! rhoda is really cool. but the prison scenes and all that stuff. >> well, that we totally gorilla stole. mike basically found a prison we could drive close enough to the front entrance. and then he parked across the street. and he's like, "go in there as rhoda." like, i had the costume on. "and come out." i walked into the prison, turned around and walked back and he films the shot, and get in the car and like, "whew, i totally did that." >> jimmy: that's totally illegal. >> all the cops converge on the car. and they are like, "what are you guys doing here?" and they want to take the camera, which we borrowed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nothing is legal about this at all! >> and the stuff inside with all the footage of the film. we're panicking. and mike's like, "no, no, you can't take that, because we're location scouts for a very big film." the guy is like, what?

and i was like, "yeah, it's a very big film." he's like, "who's in it?" and i was like, "al pacino." [ laughter ] and he's like, "for real, what's it called?" i was like, "the warden." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it sounds like a movie al pacino should be in. >> doesn't it? >> jimmy: he should be "the warden." [ as pacino ] "lights out, everybody! lights out! [ laughter ] lights out! cellblock 26 -- lights -- out!" [ laughter ] >> you should have just been in it. >> jimmy: i think i was in that movie, "the warden." >> the warden actually invited us into the prison. >> jimmy: oh, my god! thought he was going to be in a documentary? >> no, we had milk and cookies with him. >> and he was like, "you know, i always thought" -- >> jimmy: what kind of prison was this? oh, connecticut, well, there you go. [ laughter ] >> softer up there. >> jimmy: they're softer up there. you have milk and cookies with prisoners. you should screen this in the prison. >> do you they would like it? >> jimmy: yeah, prisoners want anything. [ laughter ]

either that or "swamp people." [ laughter ] they'd love that. >> okay. now, he would know it's not "the warden." i mean, we'd be found out for a totally illegal filming -- >> jimmy: redo the beginning and the warden gets killed in the first scene. and a shot from the back, "lights out, everybody!" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and that's me. that's how you start the movie. we have a clip. i want to show you the clip, a great job brit did with mike. it's called "another earth." take a look. [ ticking ] >> he's up in space, alone. in a space closet. he's got 25 days left to go with this sound. the cosmos decides. the only way to save his sanity is to fall in love to the sound. so, he closes his eyes. he goes into his imagination.

and he opens them. [ ticking stops ] he doesn't hear ticking anymore. ♪ he hears music. ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations on everything. brit marling, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "another earth," it's in select theaters today. we'll be right back with comedian matt kirshen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a very, very funny guy, who was a finalist on "last comic standing." his cd "i guess we'll never know" is available on itunes and amazon right now. and he'll be performing for the whole month of august at the edinburg fringe festival. please welcome, all the way from the uk, matt kirshen, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> thank you. thank you. thank you very much. it's sweet being back here in america. the only place where i'm mildly recognizable. [ light laughter ] not famous. let's not get carried away. i'm at that level where if i go somewhere busy, i will get one person, one guy coming up to me. "you -- you -- do you go to my school?" [ laughter ] that's where i'm at. it's not all new york people. sometimes sunnyvale, california, for a week. in the silicon valley, which is less exciting than that sounds. [ light laughter ] it is silicon to me. like robots are another thing. either way, i'm happy. i'm a horny nerd. [ laughter ] a whole week in sunnyvale staying in this hotel, it was like an old hotel. it had a vcr in the room. you could borrow videocassettes in the front desk. "yeah, i'm going to watch 'top gun.'" [ laughter ] do you know how embarrassing it is at a hotel you have to go

down to reception to borrow the porn channel? [ laughter ] you know how much more embarrassing to have to go back for more. [ laughter ] like some pervy oliver twist? [ laughter ] "please, sir." [ applause ] we did what any of you would do, we got drunk. we got drunk and we were staggering back to the hotel and past this fast-food place and a sign on the door said "open 24 hours." i checked my watch. it was like 1:30, 2:00, which is well within the 24 hour time period. [ light laughter ] the door was locked. i'm trying to figure out what's going on. we walked around, it's the drive that was still open. so, i went up to the guy in the window and asked for fries. and he wouldn't serve me because i wasn't in a car. and your reaction annoys me. [ laughter ] it does, because i want that to be the bit where i was, "what, really?" and you were like, "yeah, that's the rule." [ laughter ]

every one of you knew, didn't you? every single person. people watching at home were like, "well, he's not going to get served, is he? [ laughter ] he's not in a car." everyone knows the dress code for fast-food after midnight is a vehicle. [ laughter ] which is ridiculous, who wants that stuff at 2:00 in the morning and is in any position to be driving? [ laughter and applause ] just encouraging alcoholics and stoners to get behind the wheel, aren't they? "come mr. stumpbly, come wobbly joe, come eat our food. whoa, whoa, don't walk. [ laughter ] you're drunk! you could trip and hurt yourself. no, get into a half-ton metal box and plow towards us at 50 miles an hour." so we were arguing and then this car pulls up. and i'm looking at him like, "look at you with your car." [ laughter ] but here's the thing. i'm drunk. so, i've lost my some of my inhibitions. so, i found myself staggering up to the car, leaning in his

window, essentially soliciting for fries. [ laughter ] like some kind of fast-food whore. [ laughter ] late night snack-craving prostitute. "hey, big boy, i've got a hole that needs filling." [ laughter ] here's when the story gets more embarrassing, people. he recognized me. [ laughter and applause ] he knew who i was. now, he has that story. now he gets to tell people, "you know the little english guy from 'last comic standing'?" "not really." "it doesn't matter. [ laughter ] the other night, i was at the drive through. he just appeared, drunk, at my window begging me to buy food. i guess that's what happens when you don't win a reality show." [ laughter and applause ] i want to know. i actually now want to know, what can you get -- get you through a drive through. what are you allowed? 'c a